I'm just getting ready to go meet some friends up in Lake Tahoe and camp until tomorrow. I'm going back on Tuesday after work and staying until Thursday. I haven't camped in about 12 years or so. I was talking to a friend last week and told him that I was going camping. Now this friend is a big bad Marine, so his idea of camping and my idea of camping are two VERY different things. Here's the email he sent me:
"For Allie:
How to avoid being eaten by bears and/or other large animals while camping:
1) Lose weight before you go camping. You will be better able to outrun predators and the chubbier you are the more yummy you look to a hungry bear.
2) Don't bring food into your tent and then fall asleep while eating. The only thing yummier than a chubby girl in the woods is a chubby girl in the woods with cheeto residue on her hands.
3) You are a girl - camp like a girl. Don't camp in the middle of the woods where you are likely to be mauled by an animal. Camp in a campsite, in a well populated area. Do the kind of camping I have to put quotes around. I camp...you "camp".
4) When trying to survive an animal attack here is the most important thing you need to know...you don't have to be faster than the bear, you only have to be faster than the person next to you. Bring an old, fat, out of shape, cripple with you and you can sleep soundly knowing they will be bear chow.
I could go into how you should play dead with a bear - let them bat you around a little till they lose interest. I could warn you about their instincts when protecting a cub. I could go into great detail about how you could be savagely attacked but would still be able to survive. Frankly, you just don't strike me as the kind of girl that would barely excape with your life. You strike me as the type of girl that would see a bear (one with no intentions of ever coming near you), piss yourself, run away, trip and break your neck.
Good luck with that."
My friends have no faith in me.
If I survive (in the middle of Lake Tahoe with the Safeway about a half mile from the campground), I'll report back when I get home tomorrow.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Softball
I play softball on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I've played with the Thursday team for the past year, so we all know each other pretty well and we all know how each other plays. Tonight however, someone other than me showed up to the game. No offense to any girls out there, but I really played like a girl. It's super slow pitch. I should not play badly.
Let me recap for you:
First at bat: I struck out....looking. Yes, I said looking.
Second at bat: Debatable. I hit it up the middle and touched first before I heard the ball land in the first baseman's glove. The umpire called me out. He is no longer my friend.
Third at bat: Line drive into right field. Safe on first.
I played second base and made some pretty good plays at the bag, but no matter how well we did on the field, we just couldn't make up for the 7 run deficit that we fell into in the first inning. We lost. Something like 17 or 18 to 7 or 8.
It was only the first game back in three weeks, so I'm not worried.
Oh, I also pulled a muscle in my butt.
Let me recap for you:
First at bat: I struck out....looking. Yes, I said looking.
Second at bat: Debatable. I hit it up the middle and touched first before I heard the ball land in the first baseman's glove. The umpire called me out. He is no longer my friend.
Third at bat: Line drive into right field. Safe on first.
I played second base and made some pretty good plays at the bag, but no matter how well we did on the field, we just couldn't make up for the 7 run deficit that we fell into in the first inning. We lost. Something like 17 or 18 to 7 or 8.
It was only the first game back in three weeks, so I'm not worried.
Oh, I also pulled a muscle in my butt.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Dear Emily:
Are you happy now? I've posted something new. It may not be interesting or witty, but I didn't want you reminding me (yet again) that I hadn't posted on the blog in a while. You can no longer compare me to Kris...who by the way, hasn't blogged since April.
I talk to you everyday, so it's not like you need to read this to be kept up on all my life altering events.
So, I hope this satisfies you for the time being. If not, start walking. I'll still be here in four months.
Love,
Allie
I talk to you everyday, so it's not like you need to read this to be kept up on all my life altering events.
So, I hope this satisfies you for the time being. If not, start walking. I'll still be here in four months.
Love,
Allie
Friday, May 18, 2007
My Brother
Most of you have heard me talk about my younger brother. He's 26 and lives in Hawaii. At least until August. Then he and his girlfriend are moving back to Sacramento. He says he wants a "big boy job" and his girlfriend wants to go back to school.
My brother is my best friend. I am his biggest supporter and fan. His sense of humor is second to none. The kid is so quick and witty, you can't help but laugh at him.
The other day, I received an email from my friend Roseanne who lives in Beijing, China. She mentioned to me that she loved my headline on my myspace page. I was a little confused since I hadn't changed my headline in a month or so, so I asked her what it said. She responded with "it says 'I like clowns alot.' " Now, for those of you who don't know, I am terrified of clowns. But that's a story for another post...all I'll say about it right now is that it's my dad's fault. So, anyway, I told her that I didn't write that and was a bit baffled at who could have gotten onto my page and changed it. Then I realized that it was my brother. What a little jerk!
I told Roseanne that it must have been Scotty and she laughed and said that it sounds like him and she should have known.
I called him later that evening and when he answered, after calling him a few choice names, I asked him when he changed it and how he got into my account. He said that he changed it when he was here in April visiting and I had left it open on my computer at home. Then laughed at me for taking a month to figure it out.
I'm actually still laughing about that one and as much as I try and convince him of it, he was not left on the front steps of the police department one hot august day in 1980 and brought home by my dad to be adopted.
My brother is my best friend. I am his biggest supporter and fan. His sense of humor is second to none. The kid is so quick and witty, you can't help but laugh at him.
The other day, I received an email from my friend Roseanne who lives in Beijing, China. She mentioned to me that she loved my headline on my myspace page. I was a little confused since I hadn't changed my headline in a month or so, so I asked her what it said. She responded with "it says 'I like clowns alot.' " Now, for those of you who don't know, I am terrified of clowns. But that's a story for another post...all I'll say about it right now is that it's my dad's fault. So, anyway, I told her that I didn't write that and was a bit baffled at who could have gotten onto my page and changed it. Then I realized that it was my brother. What a little jerk!
I told Roseanne that it must have been Scotty and she laughed and said that it sounds like him and she should have known.
I called him later that evening and when he answered, after calling him a few choice names, I asked him when he changed it and how he got into my account. He said that he changed it when he was here in April visiting and I had left it open on my computer at home. Then laughed at me for taking a month to figure it out.
I'm actually still laughing about that one and as much as I try and convince him of it, he was not left on the front steps of the police department one hot august day in 1980 and brought home by my dad to be adopted.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Starbucks
I have a problem. I'm addicted to Starbucks. Everyday last week, I was there on my way to work. Well, except for Thursday and that's only because there was nowhere to park and I was too lazy to circle the block looking for a spot.
The Starbucks that I go to caters to all the mid-town and downtown residents and employees. I constantly run into people I know who work at the Capitol or for other Agencies in the area and I like it that way. It gives me a chance to say hello to people that normally I only see when I have something work-related to see them about.
The Barristas at my Starbucks are starting to know me and already know that I've switched from my "winter drink" (a grande nonfat decaf peppermint mocha) to my "summer drink" (a venti peppermint mocha light frappuccino) and are starting to learn my name. They still can't spell it right, but fine, as long as they get the drink right, I don't care.
Everyone knows how Starbucks works. It's sort of like the Soup Nazi. You get there, you get in line, you know what you want, you order it, you move on. Nothing fancy, nothing difficult. EVERYONE knows this. Well, almost everyone.
Friday, I get to Starbucks and there's a line almost out the door. I think, fine, no problem, it goes fast. Oh, how wrong I was. These two women in front of me - I could swear have never been into a Starbucks in their lives - are standing there staring at the menu above the counter. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Finally, what seemed like 12 hours later, the first lady decides to order an grande Americano. Now, correct me if I am wrong but isn't that just A REGULAR CUP OF COFFEE???? Seriously lady, it took you 15 minutes to decide you wanted a REGULAR cup of coffee? Oh.My.God.
So, lady number two gets up there and still doesn't know what she wants. By this time, the people behind me are just as annoyed as I am and the cashier could tell, so he says to the lady "maybe you could let people behind you order since you are still deciding." So fine, we finally get to order and about 10 people went and ordered before this lady had decided. I even got my drink and left and she was STILL deciding. I actually thought about stalling and hanging around to see what she finally ordered, but after standing in line for at least 20 minutes, I had to get to the office.
So, the lessons to be learned from this rant:
1) It's Starbucks. They serve coffee and coffee drinks. It's not hard to decide what you want
2) Try looking at the menu while you are standing in line.
3) If you're going to order a regular coffee, just order it. Don't spend 15 minutes deciding on it. I could have made a pot of coffee in less time it took to stand there and order it. And I barely know how to make a pot of coffee...hence my need for Starbucks.
4) People who have nothing better to do in the morning than go to Starbucks and get a cup of coffee should wait until at least 9am when the people who stop on their way to work have already come and gone.
The Starbucks that I go to caters to all the mid-town and downtown residents and employees. I constantly run into people I know who work at the Capitol or for other Agencies in the area and I like it that way. It gives me a chance to say hello to people that normally I only see when I have something work-related to see them about.
The Barristas at my Starbucks are starting to know me and already know that I've switched from my "winter drink" (a grande nonfat decaf peppermint mocha) to my "summer drink" (a venti peppermint mocha light frappuccino) and are starting to learn my name. They still can't spell it right, but fine, as long as they get the drink right, I don't care.
Everyone knows how Starbucks works. It's sort of like the Soup Nazi. You get there, you get in line, you know what you want, you order it, you move on. Nothing fancy, nothing difficult. EVERYONE knows this. Well, almost everyone.
Friday, I get to Starbucks and there's a line almost out the door. I think, fine, no problem, it goes fast. Oh, how wrong I was. These two women in front of me - I could swear have never been into a Starbucks in their lives - are standing there staring at the menu above the counter. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Finally, what seemed like 12 hours later, the first lady decides to order an grande Americano. Now, correct me if I am wrong but isn't that just A REGULAR CUP OF COFFEE???? Seriously lady, it took you 15 minutes to decide you wanted a REGULAR cup of coffee? Oh.My.God.
So, lady number two gets up there and still doesn't know what she wants. By this time, the people behind me are just as annoyed as I am and the cashier could tell, so he says to the lady "maybe you could let people behind you order since you are still deciding." So fine, we finally get to order and about 10 people went and ordered before this lady had decided. I even got my drink and left and she was STILL deciding. I actually thought about stalling and hanging around to see what she finally ordered, but after standing in line for at least 20 minutes, I had to get to the office.
So, the lessons to be learned from this rant:
1) It's Starbucks. They serve coffee and coffee drinks. It's not hard to decide what you want
2) Try looking at the menu while you are standing in line.
3) If you're going to order a regular coffee, just order it. Don't spend 15 minutes deciding on it. I could have made a pot of coffee in less time it took to stand there and order it. And I barely know how to make a pot of coffee...hence my need for Starbucks.
4) People who have nothing better to do in the morning than go to Starbucks and get a cup of coffee should wait until at least 9am when the people who stop on their way to work have already come and gone.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Attempt Number Eleventy Billion
OK, so here I go again. Another attempt at keeping a blog. It's actually quite amusing to me that I tend to write novels in emails to friends, yet I can't seem to find the time to type it all in a blog for you all to see.
When creating this blog, I tried to use names that I normally use for sign in names. Unfortunately, they were all taken (probably by me in previous attempts to blog) so I had to get a little creative (as if AllieGator is really creative) and come up with yet another name to call myself. By the way, if it's actually not me taking up all my names and random people out there have my names, who the heck are you to be using my names?? I want a list of all of you, what names you are using and why you think you are allowed to use those names. You know who you are...all you Lulibelles, Lulubelles, alowshses and alliewishes out there. Yeah, I'm comin' after YOU!
I really don't know what to tell you to expect from this other than my thoughts intermingled with observances and never without a little sarcasm. I really don't care if no one reads it or if every single person on the planet reads it (which would be kind of weird since I wouldn't think that ANYONE outside of my family and friends would ever think of reading it), but here it is, I hope you enjoy it and that at least one person (other than my mother) reads it.
When creating this blog, I tried to use names that I normally use for sign in names. Unfortunately, they were all taken (probably by me in previous attempts to blog) so I had to get a little creative (as if AllieGator is really creative) and come up with yet another name to call myself. By the way, if it's actually not me taking up all my names and random people out there have my names, who the heck are you to be using my names?? I want a list of all of you, what names you are using and why you think you are allowed to use those names. You know who you are...all you Lulibelles, Lulubelles, alowshses and alliewishes out there. Yeah, I'm comin' after YOU!
I really don't know what to tell you to expect from this other than my thoughts intermingled with observances and never without a little sarcasm. I really don't care if no one reads it or if every single person on the planet reads it (which would be kind of weird since I wouldn't think that ANYONE outside of my family and friends would ever think of reading it), but here it is, I hope you enjoy it and that at least one person (other than my mother) reads it.
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